


Sam's Deepest Desire

by krazyk2314



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Reader Insert, Shifter, curse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 12:30:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6006115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krazyk2314/pseuds/krazyk2314
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You go on a hunt sigh Sam and Dean, when you learn that your deepest desire might not be your boyfriend Sam's deepest desire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based off of the newest episode of Supernatural so there will be some spoilers.

If you had known the hunt was going to end this way, you would have never gone on it. You would rather live in ignorance than with the information you knew now.

It was your normal shifter hunt, or that's what the three of you thought at the beginning. It was Valentines day, or at least the weekend of, and Dean had used it to his advantage while you and Sam had stayed behind at the bunker doing research. 

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather be out celebrating Valentines day? I would have taken you out to dinner or something." Sam asked, while the two of you sat around the table in the library. 

You smiled up at your boyfriend, loving how considerate he was. The two of you had been together for almost a year now, ever since you had gotten thrown together on a case by Garth. He had shown up, with his long legs and hair, gorgeous hazel eyes, and stolen your heart. After the hunt, he invited you to stay with them, and you quickly agreed. 

"I'm sure. I know we need to find Amara, and Valentines day has never really been my thing." You replied. 

Sam turned his computer to face you, and you glanced down at the newspaper article he had pulled up. "It's not Amara, but it's definitely a case." 

Just then Dean came stumbling in the kitchen, still dressed in last night's clothes, blindly heading for the fridge. Both you and Sam watched in amusement as he opened the fridge door, grabbing left overs.

"Is that a hickey?" Sam chuckled, while Dean spit the food out. You quickly brought him up to snuff on the case, and he went off to shower while the two of you went to your room to pack.

As you slung your bag over your shoulder, Sam grabbed your shoulder, pulling you into his embrace. "I know you said you're not much for Valentines day, but as soon as this case is done, I'm taking you out to dinner." He told you, before capturing your lips with his own. You enjoyed the kiss, nibbling on his lower lip until you heard throat clearing coming from behind you.

"Come on guys, you had all night to celebrate, why wait till now?" Dean teased, and you pulled away from his brother, blushing. The three of you headed to the Impala, where you quickly took off.

\-----------------------------------

The trip was uneventful and soon the three of you were setting up base camp in the motel room. "Y/N, why don't you stay here, get a heads up on research while Sam and I go interview the locals?" Dean suggested and you agreed. Interviewing victims families was never fun, and you were glad to be left out of it. 

It wasn't until that evening they came back, and you found out more information. "So, we're thinking a shifter?" You asked, confirming the suspicion you had had all along.

"Yep, one that's going after cheating bastards." Dean replied, grabbing a beer.

Sam sat next to you, and you grabbed his hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. "We're going to go back to the house, check out the wife again. You coming?" 

"Well I sure hope you won't be checking the wife out." You teased, but you stood up, pulling your coat on.

_________________________________________

Your jaw dropped as the Impala pulled up to the house. It was big, and fancy, and you felt yourself automatically adjusting your clothes as you felt inadequate next to such opulence. You followed Sam and Dean to the front door, and the closer you got, the louder the sound of struggle became. Sam and Dean looked at each other, before breaking into a jog, where they burst the door down. Inside, the wife was running, and when she noticed the three of you standing in the doorway, she ran your way.

"It's my husband." She stammered, pointing in the house behind her. " I thought he was dead..but..but he's in there. He's trying to kill me!"

Dean wrapped his arm around her shoulder, guiding her outside, while you and Sam searched the house. Creeping into the kitchen, you saw a figure with his back to you, watching the window where you could see the Impala.

"Hey!" Sam said, and the guy turned. Sam raised his gun and shot him three times, in the chest, with silver bullets. When they didn't kill him, you looked at each other in shock. "He's not a shifter!" You said, before the two of you went running back through the house, jumping into the Impala.

"Dean go!" Sam exclaimed, and without an explanation, Dean gunned the Impala, turning it towards the motel. Once all of you were safe in the room, Dean looked at the two of you for an explanation.

"It was her husband, but it wasn't a shifter." You started explaining. "Sam shot him full of silver, and it didn't even phase him. I have no idea what it is."

The wife sat down on the chair, confused and in shock. You felt sorry for her. Dean was sitting next to her, trying to find out anything useful, while you and Sam were looking on the laptop, trying to figure out what you were going against.

"Guys, over here." Dean told you, and you and Sam stood next to Dean, Sam's arm draped around your shoulder. "According to her, it's a curse, put on by her hairdresser. Hairdresser is a witch, and when she found out her husband was cheating, she asked for help. This curse kills you using your deepest desire."

"So now what?" You asked, never having worked with curses before. Before they could answer you, the sliding glass doors in the room were shattered, and her husband came barreling through. Screaming, the wife ducked behind Dean, while you and Sam stood protectively in front. 

"I just want her." He said, pointing behind you.

"Well, you're not getting her." Sam said, shooting him again with silver bullets. It slowed him for a moment, but then he came forward, shoving Sam into the wall, before turning to do the same to you. Dean, taking stock of the situation, surprised everyone by kissing the wife. 

"What the hell?" You asked, but noticed the husbands attention turned to Dean, and you realized Dean had transferred the curse to himself. 

"Run!" Dean yelled, and all four of you ran out the door, scrambling into the Impala. "Where's your hairdresser?" He asked, and once given directions, turned the Impala that way, while the wife called to make sure the hairdresser would be there.

Soon you pulled up in front of a large shopping center, a new one that only had a couple of units filled, the rest full of building equipment. 

"Would you please stay behind with the wife, make sure she stays safe." Sam pleaded, using his puppy dog eyes, and you couldn't say no. So you watched as Sam and Dean walked to the front door, while you sat in the back with the nervous wife. 

"So you do this for a living?" She asked, trying to take her mind off of what had happened.

"Yep." You replied, not wanting to spark a conversation, but she wasn't deterred.

"And you're with the tall one?" She continued, and you answered the same. "Yep."

It was then you noticed Dean flying through the air, and you had enough with baby sitting. "You stay here, I'm going to go help." You told her, handing her a knife.

Ignoring her pleas to stay, you crept inside, listening for sounds of struggle. Through the main room, pass a locked door stating office, you headed to the back, where it connected to unfinished rooms. It was there you heard Sam's voice.

Looking past the plastic hanging up, you saw Sam with his back to you. He hadn't noticed you yet, but there was another person in front of him, someone you couldn't make out. But Sam already had, and the word that came out of his mouth broke your heart.

"Jess?" He whispered, moving to the side, so you could finally see the beautiful blonde girl standing in front of him. You had seen pictures of her before, Sam's first love, so you knew exactly who it was. It hurt, knowing that you weren't Sam's deepest desire, never would be. You watched as she stepped forward, attempting to trap him against the wall.

"I was surprised to take this form." She stated, her voice sweet and calm. "I would have thought it would have been that girl from earlier. I guess she means nothing to you."

Entranced, you stood there, wanting to hear his answer, but knowing you should go help him. But as you waited, he remained silent, still in shock from seeing Jess again after all these years. 

"That's what I thought. You've never been able to get past me. You've tried, with all those girls, but none matter quite like I did, do they?"

With tears streaming down your eyes, you were torn. Did you rush in to help him, or did you run and try to help Dean, and find out how to kill the curse. Taking the easy way out, you turned back to the office, where you heard voices. Knocking the door open, you saw Dean in a chair, and an older, dark haired lady talking to him.

Noticing you, Dean pointed to the side, and it was there you noticed a box containing an old, real heart. Understanding dawned, and you pulled the knife from your pocket and crept over. Pressing the knife down, you watched as a thin line of blue light appeared, just as the witch noticed you. "No!" She screamed, but it was too late. Dean shot her twice in the heart, as you fully stabbed the heart. 

Dean came over to you, noticing the tear marks on your cheek. "Y/N, what happened? Is Sam okay?" He asked, worry evident in his voice.

"Sam was fine." You told him, your voice flat. "I'm going back out to the Impala."

Dean raised an eyebrow at your mood, but didn't say anything, instead he moved to go find his brother. You walked slowly back to the Impala, your heart in pieces. You had always known that a piece of Sam's heart would always belong with Jess, but you hadn't realized how much more than a piece it was. 

"Is it over?" The wife asked, and you nodded, not trusting your voice to speak. She sat quietly sobbing, while Sam and Dean made their way to the car. Dean slid in and glanced at you again, but you just turned your head. Sam turned in his seat, his gaze hot on yours.

"Is everything okay Y/N? Dean said you were the one to stop the curse." Sam asked, concern evident in his voice.

You nodded again, your gaze still on the view outside the window, and not on the man who had held your heart and crushed it in a single moment. You weren't sure what would happen now, but you weren't sure you would be able to stay with a man who still held a major spark for a dead woman. You wished you had never gone on this hunt, that you didn't know what you knew now, you muttered to yourself as tears silently fell down your cheeks in the dark.


	2. Chapter 2

After the wife was dropped off at her house, thank yous and farewells exchanged, the three of you climbed back into the Impala for the long ride back to the bunker.

You were sitting in your usual spot, behind Sam, which was a good thing. Usually you would take the time to lean forward, and wrap your arms around his neck, or run your fingers through his hair. But now you could lean back,  against the window, and he wouldn't know about the tears that trailed down your cheeks, or the silent sobs that racked your body. Thank god for the cover of darkness.

"Y/N, you okay?" Sam asked, noticing how quiet you were. 

You stayed silent, pretending to be asleep, knowing that your voice would betray how sad and betrayed you felt. He left you alone, instead turning to his brother for conversation.

"So Y/N was the one who stabbed the heart?" He asked his brother Dean.

"Yeah she came sneaking in, and while I was tangling with the witch, I pointed out the heart." Dean explained, and you were glad he didn't say anything of your tear stained face or your upset demeanor. 

Sam was quiet for a moment, before speaking again. "Do you think she saw anything else?" Sam asked quietly. 

You wanted to open your eyes, to see what was going on, but you didn't want to risk exposure, so you kept your eyes shut, your breathing normal.

"She didn't seem herself, but I'm not sure why. Maybe from being put on baby sitting duty." Dean guessed. 

"That's probably it, she hates being left behind." Sam agreed, and you thought they would leave it at that.

"Hey Sam, what did you see down there anyways? You seem kinda spooked." Dean asked quietly, no doubt not wanting to wake you. 

"It was nothing." Sam brushed the question off, and the ride turned silent, classic rock playing quietly on the radio. Slowly you drifted to sleep, the days events exhausting you more than you realized.

Not sure how much later, you felt yourself being lifted in the air by a pair of strong arms. You shifted, trying to wake up, but Sam's voice soothed you, and you found yourself drifting to sleep again. 

The next time you awoke, it was to find a pair of strong arms wrapped around you, and a warm body pressed against your back. At first it felt wonderful, but then memories of yesterdays hunt came back, and you couldn't stay in that bed any longer. 

Gently sliding out, you were grateful to see that you hadn't woken Sam. Tip toeing out of the room, you quietly shut the door behind you, before making your way down the hallway to the library.

Surprised to see a light on, you noticed Dean sitting in one of the chairs, a drink in his hand. Not wanting to interrupt, you turned around, planning on heading to your old room when Dean's voice stopped you. 

"Y/N, I know you're there, come have a drink with me." He said, his voice tired and gruff. 

You cooperated, sitting down across from him, watching as he poured a generous amount of whiskey for you. Taking a sip you stayed silent, letting the whiskey burn down your throat. 

"So what the hell happened back there? And don't lie to me. I might not know you as well as Sam, but I would like to think I'm your friend." Dean asked in a voice that booked no arguments.

Using the whiskey as courage, you spoke for the first time since the hunt. "I found Sam before I found you." 

"I figured." Dean replied. 

Continuing on, you told him about Jess, and what she had said. Dean listened quietly, not interrupting but giving you a chance to speak. 

Once you were done, he finally voiced his opinions. "I could see her being his deepest desire. She was his first love, a love taken away. It's not easy to get over something like that, and some people never do. But it doesn't mean he doesn't love you."

"That's right." Another voice said from behind you, a sleepy voice belonging to Sam. He came and sat down next to you, trying to take your hand in his, but you snatched it away, still not ready for contact yet. 

"I was wondering if you had seen that. When you were so quiet, I could tell you were hurting. I was just waiting for you to bring it up, to say something."

"What's to say? It's hard battling a dead girlfriend for the love of a man." You said, furious when a tear leaked out. 

"I'm just gonna leave." Dean stayed, getting up from the table and leaving the room, but neither of you payed him any attention.

"When I went after the curse, I wasn't even sure it would show itself to me. After all, Dean was the one who kissed the wife. But for some reason she did, and I was just as shocked as you to see Jess standing in front of me." He started explaining.

"Yeah it would be weird to see the love of your life standing in front of you after all these years." You stated, your heart hurting even just thinking about it.

Sam sighed before continuing.  
"What I'm trying to say is that I wasn't expecting her. I was expecting it to be you. Of course I loved Jess, and a part of me always will. But I love you, more than anything in the world. You should have been my deepest desire, not her. That part of my life is over."

You were starting to thaw towards him, but the hurt was still there. "You're just saying that to get on my good side." 

He shook his head, wrapping his fingers through yours, and this time you let him. "I would never lie to you, especially not about something like this. Please believe me. You're my everything, and I don't know what I would do without you."

You sighed, knowing you had already forgiven him. "I believe you. And I'm sorry I didn't try to talk to you about it. It just hurt so bad."

Sam wiped away the errant tear that had escaped. "I will make it up to you, I promise. But for now, can we just go back to bed?"

You agreed, your heart much lighter knowing that while Jess had a hold on his past, you were his present, and hopefully future.


End file.
